Living In The Past
by musicalblairs
Summary: Finn Hudson's a screw-up. He gets the chance to re-live his life and erase his past mistakes. Will he finally get the life he's always dreamed of? Loosely based off '17 Again' Slight AU
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone!  
>This was a new story I started about a month ago that I've finally got around to posting on here. It's going to be roughly three chapters long (maybe more) and I'm already half-way through the second chapter which I am hoping to post by the end of this week. This will not interfere with me posting 'Dance With Me' rather help me, since I tend to get bored easily and need some variety in my life. I'm not really a very consistent person. Anyway, please tell me what you think, feedback is much appreciated. I'm always looking for ways to improve my writing skills that are still only in their infants. Enjoy!<br>xx Sofia  
><strong>

**_Rated 'T' for coarse language. _**

**_I do not own Glee or 17 Again, in case you were wondering. _**

* * *

><p>"Don't wear out your throwing arm before the big game Hudson" Coach Beiste's voice boomed across the football field.<p>

"Don't worry about it coach, just sneaking in a little more practice while I can" a young Finn Hudson replied "I was just finishing up now"

"Alright buddy, I hope you're ready for tomorrow. A talent scout from OSU will be there looking to give our star quarterback a scholarship"

"You bet I am coach! I wouldn't miss it for the world!"

* * *

><p>The Cheerios were on the field performing some ridiculous routine Sue Sylvester had put together when Finn noticed his girlfriend Quinn Fabray wasn't performing with them but was lost somewhere in the mess of the stands. He spotted her golden hair and white sundress with ease and was up in the stands with her in no time.<p>

"Hey babe, why aren't you out there with the Cheerios?"

"That doesn't matter Finn, all that matters is that you play this game well a-and you get that scholarship so you can go to OSU and have a f-future" The blonde teenager broke down into tears as the last word escaped her trembling lips.

"Hey, hey, what's up Q? Is something wrong?"

"I told you -It doesn't matter. Not now. All that matters is that you win this game for McKinley"

"But it does matter, I'm not going to be able to focus all game if I don't know what's going on right now" He stoked her cheek lovingly, completely oblivious to what he was about to hear

"I'm Pregnant"

Everything slowly swirled into a distant blur for Finn Hudson. Those two words had shaken him to his core. Those two words had changed his life forever.

"I-I'm going to be a dad?"

He watched as his girlfriend slowly nodded through her tears, then he realized that tears were falling from his eyes too. He was going to be a father. He was going to have to look after a kid, how could he even do that? He was still a kid himself for crying out loud!

"Hudson! Get your butt down here now! It's go time!" Beiste yelled from the sidelines

Finn shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair before bolting down the stairs and running onto the field with his teammates. He couldn't stop himself from looking back at Quinn, from looking back at her perfect tear-stained face.

It was during the second half and both teams were neck and neck. Finn Hudson just needed to make this perfect pass and the game was theirs, and so was the scholarship. That's when he saw her. She looked at him with sad eyes and mouthed 'I'm sorry' before disappearing behind the stands. That's when he felt it. That's when he felt some jerk tackle him. He felt as though his shoulder had been ripped off, he felt that if he got up now he'd be able to look down and see his shoulder just lying there. But it didn't just lie there, it got up with him, causing him more pain than he thought was possible.

"Hudson! Where do you think you're going? Come back 'ere!" He heard his coach scream out from behind him, but he didn't stop, because she didn't matter. None of them mattered. All that mattered was Quinn and their baby.

"Quinn! Quinn! Wait up babe!"

"Finn? Wh-what are you doing here?" the pregnant girl breathed in disbelief

"I'm going to be here for our baby. Forever. And I'm going to be here for you"

* * *

><p>"Ugh! Finn you have to get up, you're not a teenager anymore!"<p>

"Huh? What? Oh! Kurt it's you..." Finn mumbled sleepily

"Yes Finn, it's me. Now get up!"

"Yeah, yeah whatever you say dude" he sat up and ran his figures through his hair with a sigh "I dreamed about her again last night"

"Oh Finn, you have to learn to let go. Quinn doesn't want you anymore and, last time I checked, neither do your kids"

"You mean my kid, Beth isn't even mine"

"What, but she's the one you gave up everything for"

"I know right, Quinn told me yesterday. It was that dumbshit Noah Puckerman who got her knocked up senior year. We even did a full on DNA test and everything because I didn't believe her"

"I'm sorry"

"Nah, i-it's cool. I think I might go down and watch some tv, I hear that Today show or whatever is going to be interviewing that Rachel Berry chick we went to school with this morning"

* * *

><p>"So, Ms Berry, don't think I haven't noticed that little baby bump of yours, spill" Finn squinted at the screen and, sure enough, he could see the tiniest of baby bumbs poking through the 32 year old star's clothing. Rachel chuckled lightly and Finn examined as her perfect brown hair bounced up and down off her shoulders.<p>

"Well, there's not much to say really. Apart from the fact that my husband and I decided it was finally time to start a family"

"We're all extremely happy for you! Have you thought about names yet?"

"Of course! If it's a girl we're planning on naming her 'Stella Claire St. James' and if it's a boy we were thinking along the lines of 'Alex Harry St. James'?" Finn's fists balled up, she'd married St. Jerkface? Since when! If only he'd had the balls to join the damn glee club in high school. Then he could be the one waking up next to her in the mornings instead of waking up alone in his best friend's guest room because his life sucks and he's stuck in the middle of a messy divorce.

"Wow, what pretty names! Do you think you'll be returning to the Broadway stage after the birth of your child?"

"I'm not sure really, Jesse and I certainly want to have more than one child and I'd like to be there for them as they grow up so I'd say I probably won't be hitting that stage anytime soon"

"I'm sure you'll both be amazing parents. Now, I have a few questions from fa-" Finn switched off the tv and chucked the oversized remote halfway across the room. Kurt made those annoying clicking noises with his tongue.

"Tut, tut, tut Finny. How many times do I have to tell you not to take your anger out on my precious tv? What did the poor thing ever do to you?"

Finn just rolled his eyes and left the room. He hopped in his beat-up old truck that he'd had since the day he found out Quinn was pregnant and drove to the McKinley parking lot. He let out a sigh as he took in the familiar grounds of his glory days.

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><p>The sound of the truck's door slamming shut seemed louder then ever as Finn stepped out onto the faded tarmac. He made his way across the football field and found it odd that no one was at school, then he realised it was a Sunday. Finn had planned on going inside but, considering it was Sunday, the doors were probably locked and he didn't want to get arrested or anything for breaking in to a silly old school. Just as he turned to leave he felt someone tap at his shoulder.<p>

"What brings you here, Finny Boy?"

"D-Darren?" Finn Hudson stuttered in disbelief, he hadn't seen that man since he was 16.

"Yeah man! The school hired Emerald Dreams to spruce up the football field a little before the big game this Friday"

Finn sighed. That would make it roughly 14 years since his 'big game'. 14 years since he gave up his whole life. And for what? A stupid baby that wasn't even his!

"Uh... good on ya dude, glad you're getting some business"

"So am I! So how have things been goin' for you lately?" Darren displayed a toothy grin.

"Ah, not so great really"

"That right?"

"Yeah, sometimes life just sucks y'know?"

Darren nodded "Got any regrets?"

"I can't think of one think I don't regret" Finn laughed lightly "Well, I better get going"

"So, if you had the chance, you'd do it all again?" Darren raised his eyebrows and completely ignored Finn's comment on leaving.

"I guess I would, I mean, I just feel like I've never done anything right in my life"

Darren nodded and smiled a little, which Finn found a little creepy. Like, he knew Darren and all but that doesn't mean he couldn't have turned into some psycho old man in all the years he hadn't known him.

"I really gotta go" Finn said nervously and gave Darren a small nod before almost bolting towards his truck.

* * *

><p>"Jesse!" Rachel let out a panicked squeak when the lights in their New York apartment suddenly went out.<p>

"Don't worry my shining star, I'm right here" she felt his warm arms wrap around her waist, his hands resting on her belly. She flinched as the ice-cold metal of his wedding ring made contact with her bare skin

"I'm scared" she whispered

"I know baby, but I'm here. One sec..." Jesse reached into his pockets then the room filled with light "Lucky my iPhone has a flashlight" he chuckled before spinning his wife around in his arms and placing a gentle kiss to her lips.

* * *

><p>"Shit! This is not good weather to be driving home in!" Finn yelled to himself as he battled with the rain and the wind<p>

Suddenly lightning flashed as he saw the lights of several surrounding houses fizzle out, including the streetlights "Oh that's just freakin' great, isn't it?"

Lightning lit up the sky for a second time, but this time Finn could've sworn he'd seen the silhouette of a man standing on the edge of the bridge he was approaching. As he came closer his fears soon became reality so (being the awesome screw-up that he is) he stopped his car and got out in the pouring rain to try and get that man not to jump, if that's what he was even doing.

"Hey! HEY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

He squinted into the darkness and realised the man standing there was Darren. Maybe he had gone all psycho after all.

"You had a great voice kid, don't waste it"

Then he jumped.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok everyone, your 13 favourites, alerts etc and 4 reviews motivated me to finish up chapter two this afternoon in my free time so here it is! Sorry about some of the language in this chapter, I just couldn't help myself and they are the kind of words that play around in most teenage boys minds (I know way too many that are just... let's just say if their mother heard them they'd be sent of to boarding school in some foreign country). Also I've decided to take things slowly and I've given it a different approach to 17 Again but the next chapter will probably be a little more similar to the actual movie, on that note I've decided to settle for five chapters instead of three but lets just see how it goes. I know exactly how this story will progress it just depends on how much I get through in each chapter (which I limit myself to 2000 words each). Sorry if there are any errors, happy reading! ~insert clever comment about wanting reviews here~  
>xx Sofia<strong>

**_Glee, 17 Again and the Sims games do not belong to me, I only wish they did._**

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><p>"Finn, you have to get up!"<p>

"Not now Kurt... I don't even have work today, why do you care?" Finn replied chucking a pillow in the direction he heard the annoying voice come from.

"Who's Kurt?"

"Don't play stupid with me man, I'm not in the mo-" he huffed angrily but stopped when he turned around to see his mother hovering above him with an extremely confused expression on her face. Wait. What was his mum doing here? And since when did she start dying her hair again... she stopped doing that like, ten years ago.

That's when he noticed the familiar cowboy wallpaper lining the walls of the tiny closet-sized room. _No way._

"What year is it?"

"2011, what do you think it is?" Carole shook her head, a look of concern now crossing her face "Now get up, you only get to be a Senior once in your life"

He frowned. Was this just some kind of sick joke or something? It couldn't possibly be 2011 and it had been 14 freakin' years since he was a Senior of anything so he wasn't quite sure if his mum was on something or not. Or maybe he was the one doing drugs or getting drunk or some shit like that and it was just his mind playing these stupid tricks on him.

Whatever it was, he knew it wasn't good.

* * *

><p>What the hell was he even doing here?<p>

After his mum chucked like, 50 buckets of freezing water on him he finally decided to 'play along' with whatever this crap was. So he let her take all these pictures of him looking like a complete idiot and watched her moon over that fact that he was 'a senior now' and that he was 'growing up so fast!'.

He'd even driven to McKinley in his truck, which looked better than it had in years -it looked just as good as when he had first gotten it. The things mechanics could do these days.

"Sup, bro?" Noah Puckerman smirked at him and held out his hand, obviously expecting a fist-bump. At first Finn was hesitant but eventually decided to just go with it, after all, he may as well make the most of this dream and not screw it up like he did with his actual life. It was like one of those 'Sims' games, he was in control of this little parody of his life where nothing could go wrong 'cause it was all in his head, right?

Then the mow-hawked boy lead him over to the familiar blue dumpster with a line of nerds waiting by it for they 'punishment' or whatever they used to call it.

"You're turn man, you get the fag" Puck smirked and shoved the petrified boy in the quarterback's direction.

Immediately he recognised that face. It was Kurt -the guy who had always been there for him when things were hard with his bitch of a wife, his step-brother of 5 years (his mum married Kurt's dad 9 years after graduation after dating him for 2), the over-protective uncle of his kids... uh, kid. Beth wasn't his. Jason was- just heaps younger. He couldn't throw him in the dumpster. That would just be cruel. Especially after all he'd done for him.

So he decided to stick up for him... what's the worse that could happen?

"Don't call him that dude!" Finn yelled in response "It's not cool!"

"What the hell? Are you like his fucking boyfriend or something?" the self-proclaimed 'bad ass' laughed at his own joke and few of the other jocks joined in "Since when did you become gay, Hudson?"

That was it. He was going to bloody punch that douche senseless. For calling his step-brother shit like that and for being the reason his life was so screwed up. He'd changed his mind about this manipulative dream, game, whatever this damned thing was! He didn't like it. Things could go wrong, just like real life. Or maybe it was just because it was him controlling it -nothing ever goes right for him.

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><p>Rachel couldn't help but stare at Finn. She couldn't deny the fact she had feelings for him. Strong feelings. But even feelings that strong didn't matter when he was a guy like him and she was a girl like her, they just didn't fit. He was the popular, hunky, gorgeous, heroic, manly, chivalrous and just plain amazing quarterback while she was the short, ugly glee nerd. Besides, she had Jesse.<p>

He was the male lead of the New Directions. The two of them had always just been good friends but for some reason during the summer Jesse decided he wanted more, hence the reason they started dating. Little did Rachel know that her mother was the one who had convinced Jesse to push things further with Rachel, it wasn't much longer until her daughter was 18 and she could reconnect with her but she just wanted and extra pair of eyes watching over her little angel. Jesse was the son of one of her closest friends, Mark St. James, who she spoke with often.

Kurt ran past her screaming like a five year old girl with a terrified look on his face, she'd assumed that Puckerman jerk who she always saw at her temple had done something to torment him like usual. She didn't understand why some people were so mean.

Then Jesse appeared in front of her, the click of his designer boots silencing while he stopped to press a gentle, yet heated, kiss to her lips. She immediately reciprocated the kiss and he drew his hand up to caress her cheek softly.

* * *

><p>"No fucking way" he murmured to himself when he caught a glimpse of that puke-face kissing that super hot girl with the killer voice in that Glee club. Renee was it? Riley? Ra, ra... Rachel! That was it! Rachel! At least this version of her wasn't knocked up.<p>

While he was distracted Noah managed to recover and land a few good ones in his face before Finn felt his back hit the hard ground. There was some more laughing then they kicked him a few times to check if he was actually still alive or something before leaving him there.

Maybe he should just die?

Things would be easier then.

* * *

><p>"Hello? Hello, are you ok?"<p>

The teen's vision was slightly blurry and his head hurt like hell but he managed to make out the image of a man in his 30's with a chin like an ass and curly browny-blondy hair. If that was even a colour.

Dammit! He didn't die!

"Good, I was starting to get worried... we should get you to the nurse, do you think you can stand?"

Uhh... no. Can't you see I'm trying to die here?

"Sure"

He stumbled to his feet with the help of the angel. He was assuming the butt face was an angel, who else would do something like that to help him? The students were all jerks and the teachers here really just didn't care about you. And he knew angels didn't exist in real life but maybe they did in his head.

Though he was starting to think that maybe this whole thing wasn't just a dream or a game or a trick or an illusion but actually like, reality. Even though that wasn't really possible -in real life he would've never been taken down by Fuckerman.

* * *

><p>"You guys will never guess what happened this morning" Kurt stated as he strutted into the choir room that afternoon.<p>

"What?" the four different voices in the room all chimed at once.

"Well, Puck was about to throw me in the dumpster -again- then he handed me to Finn and he... he stood up for me. It was really scary, then they got into this full on fight"

"Finn's a good guy of course he'd-"

"Rachel, we all know you are hopelessly in love with that dreamy quarterback but you're dating Jesse and you have to understand: he's a bad guy. He throws people in the dumpsters every day, he nailed all my lawn furniture to my roof, he's dating the freakin' head cheerleader and I know for a fact that he's egged you before. Don't bother, he's not worth it. And I doubt he has a good voice either"

Rachel huffed at Kurt's comments and went back to jotting down her ideas for their setlist for sections. She knew deep down that Finn was a good guy and wasn't just that stupid popular jock everyone made him out to be, more than she could say for that Noah Puckerman. If he would just resist the peer pressure and see that being popular in High School wouldn't mean anything in the real world. In fact, most of those football players and cheerleaders who stay together after high school end up having a couple of kids straight after graduation and staying in their hometown for the rest of their sad, unstar-studded lives. Unlike herself of course -she was going to be a star.

* * *

><p>That crappy liquid the nurse had dabbed on his head stung so bad but at least he could finally see straight and the nutty old woman had actually let him leave.<p>

The kind of pain he was experiencing was not the kind of pain you feel in your imagination so he was convinced that this was in fact real life and maybe he just fell off the bridge when he was trying to save psycho Darren and landed in some sort of parallel universe where he was still a teenager and his life wasn't all messed up. Well, not yet at least.

So now he was determined, like he was actually going to try, to live his life like he wished he had. He was going to do it all again. He was going to all those things he never did: like joining Glee Club.

* * *

><p>He'd never been in the choir room before so he crinkled his nose at the unfamiliar smell: it was like books but... musical.<p>

"Oh my god you're Finn Hudson"

He spun around to see her adorable surprised face.

"And you're Rachel Berry"


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry this has taken a while, I'm planning to update this weekly from now on but no guarantees 'cause I'm back at school now and I'm getting tonnes of homework (like a science assignment that covers half my grade) that takes priority over writing fanfiction. This one's also about 700 words shorter, I hope it isn't too disappointing! Enjoy! **

**Reviews do help me write faster, motivate me!  
><strong>**xx Sofia**

**Note: When it comes to the singing...  
><strong>_Italic = Rachel  
><em>**_Bold Italic = Finn  
><em>**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own 'Glee' or '17 Again', only kinda wish i did.**_

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><p><em><em>He awoke to the annoying buzz of traffic and sirens. He was surprised his mum hadn't woken him up yet... maybe he'd finally gotten back to reality and Kurt would come bursting in any minute. Either way, he decided he should get up.

The room he saw was unfamiliar: it wasn't lined with cowboy wallpaper or decked out with designer furniture. In the dim light the walls appeared to be a soft beige colour and one of them was lined with built-in wardrobes. To his right he discovered a small-ish window that looked out onto a crowded street.

"Hey babe, you up yet?" A familiar voice called from the hall. Goddamn it! He knew that that voice but he just couldn't put a name to it.

Then _she_ appeared at the door.

"Good! Do you think you could keep an eye on Chris and Charlie while I'm out?" His eyes dropped from her face and he noticed she was balancing two young boys in her arms -about 18 months of age- that looked freakishly like him "I need to get a few last minute things for the trip, do you need anything while I'm down there?"

"N-no"

"Okay, I'll be back in a few. Make sure these boys get something_ healthy _to eat for breakfast" she said while adjusting herself and dropping one of the children gently in his arms then waiting until he looked ready to take the other one. Once she was free and he'd stopped trying to figure out how to hold two kids at once he noticed her swollen belly. Wow. They were going to have three kids "I love you, honey" she pressed a sweet kiss to his cheek which made him smile like a complete idiot then left.

* * *

><p><em>*beep beep beep beep*<em>

"Fucking alarm clock!" he yelled, slamming a forceful fist onto the unfortunate object. He was going to need a new one of those. _Again._

Finn let out a frustrated sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. He was trying desperately to process what he had just dreamt (that's what you'd call it right? 'Cause you can't exactly dream in a dream can you? But this wasn't a dream it was reality; but then couldn't that make that dream reality? Whatever, this was just getting confusing) about. Rachel had looked so amazing and their kids... their kids were the most adorable things he'd ever seen, he even had to admit they were kinda cuter than his real kids -kid- though he did kinda feel the slightest bit guilty saying that.

He shook his head as if to get rid of the weirdness he'd just experienced and lifted himself out of bed to get ready for another day back at McKinley. But this wasn't going to be just any day. It was going to be the day of his first Glee Club rehearsal.

After getting dressed and saying goodbye to his mum he ran out of the small house and into his truck.

"What's up, mate?" A scruffy voice called from behind him, making him jump.

"D-d-darren?"

"That's ma name, don't wear it out" he laughed and winked at Finn.

"Why are you-"

"So how are things goin' so far? Not still with Blondie McBitchpants are ya?" He looked Finn up and down "Put that voice of yours to good use yet?"

"Everything's goo-Wait, what? How'd you..."

"Well sorry I can't stay around and chat but I best be leaving now. I got me a gig sprucin' up a hot chick's lawn" he shuffled out of the truck and stared at him intently "Don't relive the past. Make a new future."

Then he was gone.

Who did that old kook think he was anyway? It was like he knew all about his past life... or future life... or whatever that other life that he had was and that like, really freaked him out.

* * *

><p>"Hi Finn! You know I was thinking last night, thinking about us. I think we need to take things to the next level if I, I mean <em>we<em>, want to be prom Queen and King"

She attached to him like a freakin' leech as soon as he walked into McKinley. Maybe now's the time to drop the bomb on her.

"Look Quinn, I'm sorry I have to do this... actually I'm not. I'm breaking up with you. I don't love you and I just _know_ things aren't going to work out between us"

_Shit. _He was scared now. Why the hell did he say that? It looked like she was going to rip his head off or shoot him or something and the whole headless thing? Not a good look.

"Bu-bu?" she stuttered "Finn, baby, you c-can't be serious. You're joking right?"

"Sorry" he mumbled and tripped over his feet as he began to walk (more like run) away from the psycho blonde.

"I'm pregnant!" Quinn yelled down the hall.

He couldn't help himself. "Yeah, with Puck's fucking child"

She looked nervous now. Nervous and humiliated.

"No! It's your ba-"

"No it's not! We haven't had sex Quinn! How the hell do you expect me to believe you could be carrying my child?"

"I-I... the... hot-tub" she was stuttering again.

"I have a class to get to" he spat bitterly in response and stomped to his locker ignoring her cries.

Serves that bitch right.

* * *

><p>The day went slowly after that. He kept his head low and tried not to make eye contact with many people so when Glee came around he wasn't sure whether to be happy or pissed that he had to stay at school for another hour.<p>

"Finn!"

He laughed in surprise when a certain 5'2 brunette jumped in his arms almost knocking him to the floor despite her size. She giggled nervously and removed herself from his body before straightening out her hair and skirt.

"Mr. Schuester?" Rachel pulled on his hand and led him towards the butt faced angel "This is Finn Hudson! He asked me if he could join New Directions Monday after rehearsal and I said he could... is that ok?"

The man smiled and nodded "Of course! The more the merrier, right?" he patted Finn on the back "So Finn, how about you show us what you've got?"

"You mean like... sing?"

"Yeah!" Mr. Schue replied a little too enthusiastically.

"I have the perfect song!" Rachel bobbed up and down "I was thinking Jesse and I could sing it at Sectionals but since he's... y'know not speaking to me right now" she took in a shaky breath then recovered "Finn and I could sing it!"

She looked up at Finn with hope filled eyes and literally exploded with excitement when he nodded.

"Ugh, can we just get this over with already?" Kurt grumbled.

Rachel glared a Kurt momentarily then reached into her pink backpack and produced those musical smelling book things. Sheet Music.

"Brad!" she yelled at the silent piano player and shoved the music in his face, then began explaining to him _exactly_ how she wanted the song to be played before turning her attention back to Finn "Here, are you ready?" she asked handing him the lyrics.

"...I think so"

"Hit it"

_If I should die before I wake  
>It's 'cause you took my breath away<br>Losing you is like living in a world with no air  
>Oh...<em>

He'd heard her sing before on like tv and stuff and at those crappy school assemblies but there was something different about this time. She was closer, it was like she was singing _to him. _

Could he even sing?

What if he like... _sucked_. Hell, it didn't matter how good he sounded because compared to her anything he sung would sound like complete and utter shit anyway.

_**I'm here alone, don't wanna leave  
>My heart won't move, it's incomplete<br>Wish there was a way that I can make you understand **_

She looked at him with and expression that Finn could only match with surprise but he was pretty sure there was some else in it. Something... deeper. Maybe he didn't sound half bad. Maybe he did have a shot with her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey, it's me again! I hope you guys haven't lost interest in this story because I plan to keep it coming, I've had a light bulb moment and I know exactly where I'm going with this now. I actually wrote more for this chapter but decided to cut it short and put the rest in the next chapter which I will try to post next week as well as updating Dance With Me. Sorry if there are any spelling/grammar mistakes. Enjoy!**

**Key for this chapter:  
><em>Bold Italic = Flashback<br>_**_Italic = Finn's writing _

**Review... please?**

_**xx Sofia**_

* * *

><p><em><em>**Disclaimer: I don't own 'Glee' or '17 Again', if I did this story would be canon.**

* * *

><p>"Look... Jesse... no, please don't go... I can explain!"<p>

"Explain what exactly, Rachel? Explain how you were flirting with that neanderthal? Explain how I found you _kissing_ him?" Jesse's eyes narrowed accusingly "You mean everything to me... clearly the feeling isn't mutual"

"You weren't even talking to me at the time!" And she was right: he hadn't been talking to her for the majority of that week. But that still didn't mean they had broken up, she'd still _cheated_ on him. She knew that. He knew that. Shouldn't that make things more simple?

"But we were still together! You still betrayed me!"

_Been there, done that..._

"I know Jesse, I know but please just... I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry"

"No, Rachel. _I'm_ sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you. I'm sorry you prefer stupid dumb football players to sophisticated but masculine singers like me. I should've seen this coming... I don't even know why you let him join Glee Club"

"I let him join because everyone deserves a chance an-" _and I love him._

"Save it, Rachel. I don't care what your excuse is. I'm putting our relationship on hold"

Rachel collapsed into tears as soon as her former boyfriend left to room _she was such an idiot._

**_His speckled hazel eyes scanned her small body before taking in the one hundred or so chairs that filled the majority of the oddly shaped room. They were empty, but they still scared him somehow._**

**_Her rich brown locks bounced elegantly as she turned around to look at him._**

**_"Finn! You're here!" she squeaked and jumped into his waiting arms, hugging him tightly (this was now their customary greeting)._**

**_The pair spent almost an hour practicing their singing, starting by warming up and doing scales before perfecting their cover of 'No Air'. Finn was getting like, super tired so he asked if they could take a break and found Rachel leading him to a small picnic set up on the stage._**

**_"I thought you might get hungry" she blushed and made herself comfortable on the checkered rug, totally making her already short skirt slide further up her legs "Want a drink?"_**

**_"Sure" Finn joined her on the mat and accepted the cup she was holding out for him "Cool, these are like those awesome cup thingys you get on the airplane" he stared at the rounded plastic in his hand like it was some sort of god or something. What? He freakin' loved airplane cups._**

**_"Oh, you have a bit on your lip... right there" she brushed her soft finger tip against his damp lips slowly and stared into his eyes with that 'fuck me' look and damn, could that skirt get any shorter?_**

**_"You know that you can kiss me if you want to, right?" He pointed out and offered her one of those irresistible lopsided grins._**

**_"But Jes-"_**

**_"Take a chance on me"_**

**_His lips crushed against hers in an instant but he found himself being pushed away by her little hands -she was totally trying to feel him up._**

**_"I love you" Rachel's voice was ragged and broken and he knew that they both felt the same way. Even though that kiss had only lasted about 2 seconds it had just been so intense._**

**_Their lips found each other again, this time with more passion and less force._**

**_All in all, the moment was perfect. Absolutely bloody per-_**

**_"Rachel?"_**

**_His kiss-ass voice echoed through the empty auditorium and Rachel escaped Finn's grasp. Without a single word or a look or a gesture or anything she was gone._**

**_And he was left alone with Jesse St. Getawayfrommygirl._**

Finn walked into the choir room 'cause he heard yelling and the first thing he saw was her tiny shaking body curled up on the filthy floor.

"Rach... what happen? ...was it him? ...what the fuck did he do to you?" he was pretty much yelling too by the time he finished speaking and she lifted her head up from the ground with that look in her eyes. Not the 'fuck me' look the 'I am going to kill you Quinn-style' look.

"Go away Finn! I don't want to see you and your stupid gorgeous face!" a distressed squeak escaped her lips and she managed to shove him off her and run away "This is all your fault! You ruined _everything_!"

Her footsteps faded into the distance.

* * *

><p>He had another one of those weird future not-so-sure-what-they-are dreams that night, but this time it wasn't all sunshine and lollipops and rainbows and all that happy shit. It was full-on depressing.<p>

When things started out he thought he was in the same room as last time but then he noticed the rather large crack running down the wall and the annoying buzz of the shitty million year old air-conditioner. Like last time he got out of the bed and looked out the window (which was even smaller and didn't seem to have a lock on it) but all he saw was a dark backstreet filled with rubbish and hobos and druggies. The kitchenette was minuscule and the bathroom seemed non-existent though someone caught his eye -the crumpled piece of paper that sat gently on the worn-out sofa.

While doing the impossible job of making himself comfortable on the tatty couch he brought the creamy sheet of paper up to his face so he could read what it said.

_18th December 2010_

_Dear Rachel,_

_It's Finn. Happy Birthday._

_I know I shouldn't be writing this letter and you're probably all happy and settled in New York right now but I just really need to tell you this even though I don't know where you live and this letter will never reach you it's still important. If I don't do this I'll probably loose any scrap of sanity I have left._

_I'm really sorry for what I did to you and Jesse and I know I screwed up your relationship big time and now you don't get him or me and you feel like a loser. But you're not._

_You are such an amazing person and I just know Julliard is only the first step for you and you will go on to do things so incredible and that you will find someone who loves you. You'll find many people who love you, 'cause you're just an awesome lovable person. But all those people will never love you for you, they'll love you for your insane talent. They'll never know who the true Rachel Berry is like I do._

_I love you Rachel. There. I said it._

_I don't regret kissing you in the auditorium that day because I knew what we were feeling was real and nothing could ever change that. But I do regret letting you go so easily... letting you just push me away like that. And I won't let that happen again._

_I'm going to go to New York you know, I'm going to find you and we are going to live happily ever after. Forever._

_Because that's the way it was meant to be. _

_I've seen what my life would be like with Quinn... I've lived it and you'll probably never understand how that works and I don't really either but you just need to know that me and Quinn didn't work out. You and Jesse... let's just say you didn't work out either._

_But you and I? I know we will work out, it isn't over between us._

_I can't breather without you here -that song was right._

_x Finn_

There were tears coming from his eyes. Big, fat, ugly tears. Bullshit! Finn Hudson never cried.

He turned the piece of paper over and spotted some more sloppy handwriting in the top left corner, there was a lot of scribble covering it but he could sort of make out the words.

_I was wrong. So fucking WRONG._

Then the dream ended and he woke up to the sound of his new alarm clock.

This time he knew what it had meant: it meant he had messed up big time and he needed to fix things between him and Rachel or his life was going to be about ten times worse than when he was stuck with Quinn. And that was bad, really bad.


End file.
